Acceptable Behaviour

In the past 24 hours I have had two lightbulb moments. If you have no interest in my life audit, this isn't for you, Frugal Friday Eleven will be here tomorrow. 

The first one was in relation to the activity in the House of Commons. Regardless of where you stand on the B word I think we can all agree some of the language used in parliament yesterday was eyebrow raising. On the radio this morning someone suggested that people should act and speak as though they are looking after a six year old. What an idea, how kindly many of us would speak about ourselves and others were that the case. 

As my aim for last month was to cut out the gossip and generally be the most positive version of myself this is excellent advice. Although when I'm with my six year old niece I do feel the need to be honest with her and seem to spend a lot of time saying "and here we are discovering that life can be hard" about everything from having a sandwich cut into triangles rather than square, the tide being out, a rainy afternoon through to trying to read a new word. Every time she finds it hilarious. 

Secondly, I saw an infographic type thing on Instagram, it was just on the things a bit like things you like page and it was about having a Rescuer personality. I can't find the exact thing I saw but I was shocked! Rescuers  

- burn themselves out caring for others
- are good at making people feel comfortable
- may be unsure about our own needs
- have serious discomfort with conflict
- feel guilty if they can't help
- easily pick up of the energy of others

I didn't know it was a thing! I would never think of myself as a rescuer but when I mentioned it to Dan he heartily agreed with what I told him. It's true, we went to a cafe at the weekend and some people sat outside, the people in the cafe hadn't seen them and I really wanted to point it out to them. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Obviously it's good to be pleasant and helpful but (as Dan is always telling me) it's not my job to do all these things. 

I mean, I hate it when customers tell me how to do my job so why would I get involved elsewhere! 

The thing is, even though I read a few uncomfortable things in subsequent reading, I actually felt a huge sense of relief - it's not just me, other people have these feelings too. That's always comforting isn't it, it's not just a flaw it's a way of thinking that comes from somewhere and so it's something that can be spotted and changed. After all most of the time people will get on just fine without my help (even if they ask for it) and I don't need to be stressed by things that aren't my business. I will still reach things down off high shelves for people though, I'm not a monster. 

Anyone else recognise this type of behaviour in themselves?